From this point on...this page will be updated on a weekly basis...

~ Ludwig
On a tour of California, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit the coastline on an impromptu sightseeing trip. His 4 X 4 'Pope-mobile' was driving along the beautiful shoreline (an area where tourists typically visit in the winter), when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. He drove closer to see what it was. Upon approaching the scene, he saw a man in the water wearing a Anaheim Mighty Ducks hockey jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark! 

At that moment, a speedboat containing three men wearing Los Angeles Kings jerseys, roared into view from around the point. Immediately, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Anaheim fan from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death. They then bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the boat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was the Pope summoning them to the beach. 
After they reached shore, the Pope praised them for the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there was bitter hatred between the fans of the Kings and the Mighty Ducks, but now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of harmony and companionship that could serve as a model which other countries, like this one, could follow". He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust. 
 
As he departed, the harpooner asked the others, "Who was that?" 
"That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom". 

"Well," the harpooner replied, "he obviously doesn't know a thing about shark fishing!!! Is the bait holding up okay, or do we need to get another one?"
 
LET'S GO KINGS
 
 
This is for hockey fans everywhere…

An Edmonton Oilers fan, a St. Louis Blues fan, an Anaheim Mighty Ducks fan, and a Los Angeles Kings fan climbed to the top of Mount Everest. 

They looked over the edge in wonder. Then the Oilers fan shouts, "This is for the Oilers!" and jumps off the cliff.

Well, the St. Louis fan, not wanting to be outdone, shouts, "This is for the Blues!" and jumps to his death.

Seeing the trend, the Kings fan looks around for a moment. Then he walks behind the Ducks fan, gives him a big shove off the mountain and yells, "This is for hockey fans everywhere!"
 
 
7th Game

It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "it's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" 

The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." 

"Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. 

"She passed away," said the gentleman. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, You could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. 

Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No they're all at the funeral."
 
 
Hockey's secret code has been broken!! 

At last, hockey's secret code has been cracked. Everyone knows hockey coaches speak in code. Finally, after years of exhaustive study, that code has been broken. Usually, the coach speaks in code when he's trying to sugar-coat his assessment of a player or his team. We now know the difference between "what a coach says" and "what a coach really means." Here's a list of the most common "code" phrases used by coaches: 

Code: He's a role player. 
Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out what that role is yet. 

Code: He's a "character" guy. 
Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions. 

Code: He's good in the room. 
Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on the ice. 

Code: He brings intangibles. 
Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team. 

Code: He's a competitor. 
Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very often. 

Code: He's gritty. 
Translation: He needs a bath. 

Code: He's hard-nosed. 
Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face. 

Code: He gives us physical presence. 
Translation: He takes up space. 

Code: He's a technically sound goalie. 
Translation: His reflexes are lousy. 

Code: He's a reflex goalie. 
Translation: He hasn't got a clue on how to play the angles. 

Code: He's a power-play specialist. 
Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover his screw-ups. 

Code: He's a stay-at-home defenseman. 
Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time. 

Code: He's an offensive defenseman. 
Translation: He can't play defense. 

Code: He adds toughness. 
Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on both of them. 

Code: He's an all-round player. 
Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well. 

Code: He's feisty. 
Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at crucial times. 

Code: He's got experience. 
Translation: He's lost with better teams. 

Code: He has tremendous upside. 
Translation: He can't get any worse. 

Code: He's a "project". 
Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and taught to play hockey by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And I'm supposed to coach this? 

Code: He's a grinder. 
Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet. 

Code: He's got good work ethic. 
Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little. 

Code: He's a playmaker. 
Translation: He had better pass, because he shoots like my grandmother. 

Code: We've got good chemistry. 
Translation: We may be lousy, but we all get along. 

Code: We're rebuilding. 
Translation: We suck this year and we probably will the year after that too. 

Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense. 
Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works. 

Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn. 
Translation: He peed me off so much the last game, I want him as far away from me as possible. 

Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight. 
Translation: I just watched my career as a coach go right down the drain. 

Code: Things are turning around for us now. 
Translation: We don't suck as much as before, and I can keep my dinner down watching these losers. 

Code: He's our star. 
Translation: He can actually play hockey. 

Code: We played undisciplined hockey. 
Translation: The ref sucked. 

Code: We were not as good as we should be 
Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions for that crap they spewed on the ice tonight? 

Code: We need to work harder. 
Translation: No all night benders the night before. 

Code: I am in the best shape of my career. 
Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract.
 
 
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